Symphony

it doesnt matter how much love there is in my heart. it doesnt matter one bit. because the brain and mouth i was given, doesnt help the case of the heart. So, i have become someone unworthy of human love. Unworthy of a caring thought. Unworthy. The thing that i have treasured so much. and now its been torn out of my heart. and I don't want to love anymore. I don't want to try. because i'm giving up. I'm not going to trust. I don't want to love any other.

That picture is kinda old already
I just haven't been on this thing in a while :P

I don't have much to say.. But that I am happy with Pamela<3 =]

Today was Good.
I loved it.
didnt get to go to forever21 interview but there are more important things
I Saw her again today, The tears came out today. no matter how small, i felt her pain, even if she didnt seem like it. Oh woman how i wish to help you.
But wishful thinking gets us nowhere.
im Going to do something about it.
You will be my friend. no matter how afraid of doing something like this and something ive never done i am.
God will find u.

to accomplish soon before the end of the year, forget Christmas Presents:

1.Learn More Worship Songs
2.Start to Take Action For His Glory, not mine.
3.Get A Job
4.Respect more People,
5.Start being a Living example.
6.Spread Crazy Love Everywhere
7.Make Someones Day


:)

lets get to it Ish

OUR CHURCH.

OUR YG.

OUR HIPOCRACY.

OUR FAKENESS

HOW WE DONT STAND FOR ANYTHING WE BELIEVE IN.

it sickens me Lord.

does it sicken You?

seriously. depressed. Dunno what to do. i just want to sleep this night mare away. I just want him to hold me and tell me it was all a bad dream, that it didn't really happen. I'm so tired. I'm so hungry. I'm so fucking embrarassed and humiliated. I just feel like giving up. i don't want to go on like this anymore. i just want it to end. It hurts too much. just way too much. And just when i need mom to understand. she says nothing.

nothing feels good, Not the way its supposed to feel anymore. i'm just wishing that all this ugliness is just a blur and a nightmare. i can't take it anymore, God help me.